Harlan Ellison vs. Gene Roddenberry in the "City on the Edge of Forever" Arena: Which Was Star Trek Script Better? the Original or the Televised?

I'm a big Star Trek buff but also a Harlan Ellison fanatic where, as a lad, I'd read everything I could get my hands on--a mesmerizing voice that still energizes me to this day. 

This strange collection of essays and variant on a teleplay have been loitering in the to-be-read pile  for awhile--a kind of novelty item, I figured. But it's more interesting than one might suppose.

The first third is Harlan Ellison setting up this epic battle between the titans. Harlan Ellison's original version won the Writers Guild of America Award. Meanwhile, the televised version won a Hugo. It is consistently rated the best Star Trek episodes. I don't mean to suggest that Roddenberry's contribution matches Ellison's, but he at least oversaw the rewrite.

Does the play need a third of the book to explain itself? It is pure Ellison--always a plus. But it is too long.* If you love Ellison, you'll read it, anyway. Wikipedia may cover the gist, so I won't summarize.

Ellison takes his gloves off and goes after Roddenberry, but in Ellison's favor, he quotes his critics when possible. The last several pages are the responses of writers and actors who either worked in Star Trek or actually had an actual impact on the script. They yield substantive angles on the debate and, of course, weigh in on Ellison's side.

Shared plot setup without spoilers:

The Enterprise is heading to investigate a time anomaly. The crew beam down to a planet to find a "city" there. A time irregularity occurs. Spock and Kirk investigate to restore the timeline.

My perspective on this battle may differ from most. In part, I trust the spirit of what everyone mentioned in the book says, bearing in mind that Roddenberry wrote lyrics to the Star Trek theme song [never used], which allowed him to get a split the composer's royalties (the clip with Tenacious D is a bit crude but funny):

Discussion with Spoilers Galore:

So let's start with the aired script's opening: The usual bumpy spaceship bit. They pair this with a sick patient on the bridge. There's some sort of unnamed risk with using "cordrazine," but McCoy is the doctor. He knows what he is doing, yet he accidentally overdoses himself.

Let's leave aside the space "turbulence"--a bit corny and a bit too often used, but okay, maybe. Let's leave aside the madness. Also overused, but okay. 

The turbulence ends as soon as McCoy injects himself. Also, McCoy's madness ends when it's no longer needed either. Can it be so dangerous if you can just wait it out? Lock him in his quarters until the effects wear off. They were going to go back in time and catch him before him before he injects himself (maybe it happens and they just don't show that). We should probably leave aside the time paradox of stopping McCoy before injecting himself (then who stops him if he doesn't do it?).

Now the opening does seem like a logic mess when you pause to consider it, but maybe because the improbabilities are just the set-up, we buy them. We'll grant those.

One advantage to Ellison's version are the space pirates, which as is implied, some of the crew might have been made up of the same people. Not too many. It would be improbable that so many births would have been the same. But it would be a fascinating philosophical quandary that one could evolve a wholly different ethos if time had taken another path. This may have been an absurdity for Roddenberry: Either the perfect future lies ahead or it doesn't.

However, someone should decide how a pirate timeline fits in to this story. Perhaps that theme might be about how people decide what someone else's fate should be. Who gets to decide? Why?

Ellison's opening brings up the interesting part. Roddenberry was apparently telling people that Ellison made Scotty a drug dealer, which isn't true. Ellison made up a crew member who dealt drugs--the ostensible baddie of the tale. This is an intriguing perspective. The Star Trek crew are flawed.

Roddenberry rejected the idea as apparently no one on the ship was bad. Now that's fascinating. It would help to know your idealistic future before sending writers off to write stories for you. It would be more realistic to have a crew member go rogue (although I'm not sure if they'd discussed the monetary system yet, which might make a black market system pointless). 

But the fascinating bit is how it pits the realistic against the utopian. The utopian aspect is part of the show's charm and unique draw. After all, this is politically correct before politically correct was a thing. It showed the universe as it should be--cooperation between races and alien species toward a common goal. 

But it is unexplored how they got here--not to mention improbable. Even if you start with everyone on the same page, one of the crew is bound to get bitter about any story's outcome and start poisoning the atmosphere of the work environment.

Now Roddenberry is from another generation. He was trained to go along with society, served in armed forces, and later in the police department, so his perspective had to be one of obedient cooperation. Their Federation does work under military conditions. Still, it seems probable that this would go awry. Even the military has need of the law and courts. So not everyone is perfect.

But that is part of Star Trek. So I get why Roddenberry used Scotty's name--to show how [to him] immediately ludicrous it was to consider having any upstanding member of the crew misbehave since they all were upstanding. You can probably locate episodes where crew stepped out of line, but at least we can see why Roddenberry used temporary madness instead.

One wonders if part of the secret sauce that made this episode the most popular show is this tension between realism and idealism. Maybe Ellison sensed this on some level and was putting it to the test.

My problem with the use of the new crew member is that the addiction or the character's personality isn't well utilized. Does he deserve his fate? Would the members of the Enterprise have allowed this? Shouldn't they have called for an end to this?

It may that a Guardian of Time sees the violation of time as a crime punishable by eternal death, but we'd need to understand that ahead of time. And how could the guy have known that his act of kindness was a greater cruelty? Maybe that's part of Ellison's intended theme. It does open a can of worms, but it would be interesting to dive into them.

One of the things I liked about the televised script better is the earlier appearance of Edith, granting more time to develop more of a relationship (did they maximize this?). The closer the connection between the Captain and Edith, the more we'll feel the pain.

Also, instead of being told what their goal is, to find a cryptic focal point in time, Spock works up an apparatus with early 20th century materials to find the focal point. The problem is what is Spock's apparatus? Is it a TV? Why is it seeing newspaper articles? Why is it seeing articles from the future? Does Spock already know how to see in the future? Why not do that in all episodes then with fancier equipment and solve problems before they occur?

The Guardian of Time might as well have just told them what the focal point is for that era.

There's one last problem for both scripts. Why kill Edith? Why couldn't they have taken her into the future with them? There has to be a better explanation for this. Why must she die instead of being transported into the future with them, especially if Kirk is in love with her. This has to be at least debated.

It'd be cool to see an updated version of this, combining the best of both scripts:

1) Harlan's opening, but with a story use of addiction or the use of somebody so irresponsible with his ethics: disposing of and manipulating people so easily, so cruelly. It needs to play a more vital role in the unraveling of the tale.

2) Since our baddie is a vital aspect of this version, his story/character should be developed a bit more. Does he deserve his fate? Should he be rescued? If no, why not? If so, what do you do with him afterwards?

3) Why does Edith have to die? This needs to be clearer. It would make more sense to get upset over the televised episode of Star Trek than Tom Godwin's "Cold Equations" because there's no reason for her death. Ellison's script seems to have taken Godwin's scenario to heart and has two men die for this one female, suggesting the cruelty of fate. They serve as foils or counterpoints to Edith's demise. At least her death had value. Maybe one can only go backwards into time. That would explain why Edith had to die.

4) Develop James and Edith's relationship so we believe the relationship is a bit more than a momentary attraction. His pain should be more palpably felt. 

5) Space pirates or not? How do they fit in with the new theme?

All of these changes would suggest a two episode or movie development. If it's a movie, one might think more deeply about the theme.

*Note:

A scan of Ellison's other new editions suggests this is a common issue--introductions growing too unwieldy in their length, like a lawn left to grow knee-high weeds. His essays can be fun, energetic, but maybe future editions should leave off the introduction to the introductions or, for the completists and for the curious, thrust it into a back appendix. For now, new readers should skip them.

Star Trek: Season 1, Episodes 11 & 12. "The Menagerie"

 Summary:

Enterprise asked to divert from course although planet does not why. Captain Pike is handicapped and can only answer yes or no through beeps. The crew members interrogate and get no answers. Spock asks to remain behind to which Captain Pike agrees. Spock continues a near-monologue with Pike

The Commodore denies message sent, and they do not find any messages sent to Enterprise. They check computer center, but Spock arrives to doctor computer banks.

Captain Kirk shown that that Pike's message was impossible. Kirk forced to consider whether Spock can lie. In theory, as a Vulcan, he's not supposed to be able to lie.

Talos IV is the only planet that, if visited, carries a death penalty. Spock has maneuvered the Enterprise to leave without her captain. Captain and commodore pursue without sufficient fuel to get back to base.

Spock has himself arrested and placed on court martial in order to explain himself. Ship assumes direct route to Talos IV. Any interference would have damaged life-support systems.

Court martial proceedings appear in videos from an unknown source, which turn out to be direct from Talos IV.

Analysis with spoilers:

Pike's Enterprise discovers distress signal from SS Columbia. Pike refuses to investigate without evidence of survivors. He confesses to ship doctor that he's tired of giving orders that risks lives.

After receiving a distress signal, the ship goes to discover survivors, quite aged, except for Vina who is quite young and lovely. We discover aliens are watching. The survivors are in excellent health. Vina takes Captain to secret location where, after survivors melt away, he gets abducted. Crew try to open mountain with phasers but fail.

Pike visits a number of illusions through the carrot-and-stick to get him acquiesce to becoming a specimen--not just a specimen, but a breeder for observation and for the aliens to live vicariously since the aliens are so old they have apparently lost many of their former skills and technologies. The only way they can survive is through an Adam-and-Eve program of caretakers on their planet, whose surface the last war wiped out.

Pike refuses to be party to this and he and the Enterprise crew look for ways to free him. Apparently, they have accomplished more than they've imagined, but the illusions prevent their seeing what they've accomplished.

They do escape, but the lone crash survivor, who old, ugly and deformed, wants to remain with the illusions. Pike, who fought so hard to escape the illusions, suddenly understands the desire to stay. In fact, he decides to return. However, he put up a good front of being against Talos IV for quite a while. Meanwhile, the aliens seem dead set on keeping humans off their planet, but they welcome back the man who impressed them that humans were too violent for their planet. Moreover, the story never explains how Spock knew what to do for Pike (the most probable being the Keepers somehow communicated to Spock and he took it upon himself to decide best what Pike's fate should be, which Pike did agree with in the quotes below for his companion).

Those are the flaws, here, but the strengths outweigh the minor deficits. It did win a Hugo. The original pilot is pretty good, but somewhat minor, considering that it ends agreement that for the handicapped, it is better to live with illusions. Since much of the imagery and metaphoric discussions is religious (see quotes below), it might mean to imply that the religious are handicapped and should retain their illusions. The idea, while interesting, is a bit condescending and minor.

The framing episode, however, is genius and raises the original pilot episode to its own level. Spock is seemingly breaking not only his own code, but the code of the Federation, doing something mysterious to risk own life. How rare is it that the frame is at least or even more interesting than the main tale?

The main flaw comes at the end of episode one where the frame keeps stopping the main story, presumably to extend the episode to proper length. Either it should have been cut for aesthetics or found better, or at least less repetitious, justification.

One of the more fascinating aspects--probably a story problem to begin with--was who was telling the tale. The episode asks what was the source of this video. Today, it would have been too patly as surveillance. This wasn't easily resolved, though, creating a fascinating viewer within a viewer within a viewer perspective. We the audience watch what the current Enterprise crew watches, who watch what the Keepers watch, who watch the older Enterprise crew. The frame of viewing makes it quickly apparent who is doing the viewing but it does take a moment of adjustment and it reminds the viewer of all the levels.

An element that makes the telling so dynamic is the constant presence of the older handicapped Captain Pike viewing his own past and younger self with rapt attention. This is highlighted by his willing to see more of his past whenever he's asked if he wants to see more.

The religious tone of the story remain with addition of the frame. It attenuates some aspects while accentuates others. With Pike rejoining his former prisoner mate in their former cell, he effectively states that illusion or religion is preferable to imprisonment within one's handicap.

One unnecessary flaw was Pike's too quick appearance on Talus IV, right after being escorted out of the room. Why bother escorting Pike if they could instantly teleport him out?

Quotes:

1. [Captain Pike is shown a vision of burning hell.] Keeper: From a fable you once heard in childhood.
2. [Keeper refers to illusion.] Would you say this is worth a man's soul?
3. --What's happened to Vina? Isn't she coming with us?
   Pike: No, and I agreed with her reasons. [Her reasons are that she is old and deformed in reality, not in illusion.]

Notes:

1. In Star Trek III, the inverse is done: Captain Kirk himself steals The Enterprise, putting him at risk to be court marshaled. 
2. Apparently, the impetus for genius was time (see Wikipedia), necessity being the mother of invention. They were falling behind in the making of the show due to special effects, so they utilized a previous show whose effects were already complete and created the surrounding episode in one week, effectively two shows for the price of one.

Star Trek: Season 1, Episode 6: "Mudd's Women"

 Summary:

An unidentified ship flies erratically (rather like it's flying through air instead of a vacuum), flies into a asteroid belt. Enterprise puts deflector shield around self and other ship at risk of engine. They manage to beam aboard an Irish pirate looking chap, Harcourt Fenton Mudd, aka Leo Walsh*, aka Harry Mudd, and his "cargo": three women the Enterprise crew find irresistible. Mudd, wanted for a number of charges, is transporting wives to settlers. Mudd is to be transferred to authorities with no certain destination for the women. The women are upset... until they learn that the ship is without dilithium crsytals and must pick up new ones from a mining planet where there will be single men to marry.

Analysis with spoilers:

Mudd is elated. Apparently, whom the "ladies" marry is unimportant. Because Mudd doesn't want them medically examined, one suspects they are not real, perhaps aliens.

The ladies pour on charm on the officers to get information they need.  Mudd calls down to the planet, Rigel XII, to have miners deal crystals for women and Mudd. Women start to turn uglify without pills.

One gal--the one who refused to dupe Captain Kirk because she may be in love with him--is disappointed over the Venus drug game.  When they arrive on planetside, the miners fight which woman they want.  She runs out.  The balding miner rescues her, but he's disappointed--largely in her attitude.

Kirk plays a second trick--no more Venus drug--fakes handing it to the woman, and she becomes beautiful. See quote, which probably tried too hard to be quotable.  Only "one kind" ends up in an either-or, which suggests two kinds. Maybe the writer means that you're not a real man or woman if you don't believe in yourself. However, this doesn't explain the real changes the Venus drug made on the women--aging and splotches.  It doesn't explain, either, how medical scanner behaved strangely. Are they real women?

What really happened to Walsh is also an unresolved mystery. That Kirk never follows this up, allies and jokes with Mudd toward the end suggests that Kirk does not consider this worth investigating.

Quotes:

• Kirk: There's only one kind of woman.

Mudd: Or man, for that matter.

Kirk: You either believe in yourself or you don't. 

• Spock: The fact that my internal arrangement differs from yours, doctor, pleases me to no end.

Author: 

Stephen Kandel and Gene Roddenberry.  Kandel apparently wrote several teleplays from Wonder Woman to MacGyver.

*Notes:

1. First use of deflector shield. Has it been used elsewhere?  I don't recall its mention.
2. "Leo Walsh" is actually the name of who was supposed to fly the ship. 
3. First use of a lie detector. According to Mudd, the detector only knows what it knows, but why did it not suggest the true answers itself? Why doesn't it not know about the women? The extent of its database is unclear.
4. First friendly repartee between Spock and Doctor McCoy. They've bickered before, though.
5. Mudd appears again in Season 2, Episode 8: "I, Mudd"

Star Trek: season one: episode two: Charlie X

Summary:

Deposited by the starship Antares, Charlie Evans comes aboard the starship Enterprise to go to colony alpha five, after losing his family 14 years ago. He interrupts the officers, and wonders how many people are human like him. He’s a little odd, knowing little about human beings and their social customs. Kirk gives him a lesson in manners.  

Charlie is a little anxious about people liking him. He continues to make social faux pas. Kirk cons McCoy into educating the boy. Spock believes the planet Thanis, where the boy was found, must have intelligent life because the food concentrates should have run out after a year, not 14.

Charlie meets Janice, and attractive blonde crew member, in the recreation room; finds Uhara singing to Spock’s lousy accompaniment like instrument; and stops her singing. He also proves he can transform playing cards into pictures and transfer them inside dresses.

Analysis with spoilers:

The starship Enterprise receives a message intended to warn the captain; however, Charlie happens to be on the bridge and cancels the message so that they cannot hear.  Starship Antares has been destroyed although only the audience knows that Charlie caused it. He also melts chess pieces when he loses a game of 3-D chess. Unlike other women, Janice smells like a girl, and he’ll give the whole universe to her.  Again Captain Kirk to rescue: he explains the universe and tries to teach the boy how to fight. 

Charlie exposes himself by making a crew member disappear for laughing when Charlie fell.  Spock suspects Charlie of being somehow related Fasian due to his ability to transmute objects. He has no regard for human life.  He only respects Captain Kirk.

When Captain Kirk tries to change course away from colony alpha five, Charlie stops them.  Spock suggests that Charlie may not back down at some point.  He surprises Janice by walking into her quarters unannounced.  She strikes Charlie for his boldness, so he gets rid of her.  They try to lock him in his quarters, but he vaporizes the wall, turns a woman old, destroys the face of another.

Their final gambit is to overload Charlie: run every device on the ship.  The Fasians arrive, return the ship and crew members to normal.  They want to take Charles away, but Charlie wants to stay as the Fasians don’t love or touch.  Kirk makes a feeble protest, but they take him anyway.

This story bears some resemblance to Jerome Bixby’s “It’s a Good Life” although the alien angle differentiates it. Bixby wrote four episodes of the series although not this one. The authors here were D. C. Fontana and Gene Roddenberry. Roddenberry is the series producer, of course, and Fontana is a female writer along association with various incarnations of the series.

Interestingly, the original series used a teenager to show the necessity to mature. Star Trek: The Next Generation tried to draw a teenager realistically – that is, in his immaturity, no doubt to pull in the younger demographic – and suffered a drop in popularity as a consequence.

  

Notes:

1.       First use of an energizer.